Unconditional Mule Love

Las Vegas led to us smashing a glass picture frame in our next motel. I guess you could consider that a natural course of events, influenced by our recent Vegas lifestyle. Or perhaps boys just wrestle a lot, and more often than not I find myself used as a human shield. It was during such an attack that we accidently shattered our room’s hanging artwork creating a rather sinister bed of glass. This also happened to be the night we ate cold tinned stew for dinner, the road from Vegas was one way… downhill, and steep.

Little time was spent at the bottom of the hill, as we soon found ourselves on the edge of a new one. The Grand Canyon, Arizona. Never have I encountered somewhere so indescribably breathtaking. Vast it stretched. Imaginary it appeared. Ostentatious it was. But most certainly it was grand; grand in design, grand in presence, grand in every which way possible. The Canyon itself was filled with peaks and valleys, gullies and gorges. Clouds winded their way in and around the intricate design. Awash with a dusty reddish glow it mimics a magnified fingerprint in its complexity. The most spectacular element? The fact it appears endless, immeasurable, even upon the edge you are completely submersed. Lost in the maze nature has created. All of this was perfectly summed up in Tom’s reaction when we first laid eyes on this natural masterpiece. One of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World.

‘Well, that’s one big fucking hole on the ground.’ Tom.

Naturally travelling with three cowboys we quickly sought out the mules of the Grand Canyon. We were aware of mule trips in and out of the Grand Canyon Phantom lodge, and these packers were keen to set their eyes on their beloved donkeys. It never ceases to amaze me the love these guys have for these four-legged creatures. Especially considering their often biting, kicking and vengeful nature. But, for these country boys it was the highlight of this National Park. We wangled our way into the barn and even into the shoeing and saddle maker’s outbuilding. Bum and ear scratches were top of the agenda for Vincent, and he was in his element with just a little bit of mule love.

Hoover Dam allowed us to effortlessly cross borders between the states of Nevada and Arizona. In fact, we were able to stay in two states simultaneously as we walked across this colossal man made structure. It was an extraordinary example of what man can build. Plus, it provided a welcomed break from the drive between Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon. We spend a lot of time in the car… did I mention that?

I write this now having retired from a day spent at my favorite town to date. Tombstone, Arizona. We arrived there late last night and headed straight for the saloon. Tombstone is a perfectly intact town from the old West. Dirt roads, hitching posts and saloon swing doors are all endearing features of this historic town, also site of many infamous gunfights. We even watched a reenactment of one such battle between the cowboys and Wyatt Earp. Each element of this town was still intrinsically linked to it’s past in a charming way that these boys especially appreciated and admired. It’s just unfortunate that this also became the historic site of the unknown toothbrush. Belonging to none of us, but accidentally used by Vincent. Good job he’s got a Colgate smile.

That time we left Vegas winners

Lunch Captain Ryan had decided it high time to take it upon himself and clear out the car of all garbage, it's just unfortunate that he placed our $20 Park pass in this category. Having taken our Sun fire for a brief paddle on the beach we retreated to grab snacks, but most importantly beer and decided to finally pitch up our tents on the sand even without our newly purchased and newly trashed pass. This decision was quickly abandoned when a thunderstorm threatened overhead. We cosily looked out onto the flashing and rumbling storm as we stuffed our faces with takeout pizza and guzzled our beer from the comfort of out motel room. Our tents live another day undisturbed.

An early morning trip to Antelope Canyon enlightened us to a changed time zone, unbeknown to us we had in fact been getting up at 6 and not our desired time of 7. In hindsight we had thought it a little dark. Antelope Canyon however was well worth the extra hour of early morning rays. Shuttled onto the back of our 4x4 we were warned of an off road expedition to the Canyon entrance.... it was more like a 20min scenic drive down a dirt road. But, nevertheless, it was just as fun merrily bouncing around the back on route. The Canyon itself was a stylish display of mother nature at her very best. The Canyon walls were smooth and silky, with an almost polished finished. They were rippled with a wave like design that catches and delicately reflects the suns beams from the crevasses above. The Canyon herself decided what we could and could not see but we were never disappointed with her verdict.

Next stop?.... The fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada. This was always going to be a big one on the map and it certainly didn't fall short. Despite at first being horrifically overwhelmed by the Vegas demeanour (after all I am travelling with a bunch of country boys), we soon found ourselves easily settling into this lifestyle of primarily drinking and gambling (two things country boys are very much accustomed too). We loved it. What we loved even more was Vincent's choice of hotel. The Pyramid. Upon entering the Luxor we were immediately confronted with an overload of activity. The inside of our triangular shaped accommodation was bursting with everything Vegas. Slot Machines, betting tables, bars, restaurants, shops, shows, nightclubs and even a Titanic exhibition. The hotel rooms simply lined the inner walls of this homage to ancient Egypt. It was a pretty impressive set up, but then everything we encountered in this city was. We set out to explore the strip further in our search for supper. We travelled through other hotels equally as captivating as ours. We settled on New York, New York, as our chosen eatery as we wont be making it there, and this was a rather fitting tribute. Food turned to drink and before we knew it Vincent and I were travelling in glass ceiling elevators, very berry vodka slushies in hand. We did make it to the slot machines before our judgement became too intoxicated and probably became the first people ever to walk away with a profit. Pretty small time with a mere 30 bucks, so perhaps we wont be buying our own desert island just yet, but it's a start.

It's a holiday for us all

Jackson principally turned out to be the town of Vincent's awful haircut. Having been teased by Mickey on route for looking like a Weasley twin (and rightly so), Vincent figured it high time to cut the blonde locks, and leave his Hogwarts fame behind him. Unfortunately, Jackson is a charming Western town and not notable renowned for it's barbers.

On the road again....our next destination? Salt Lake City, Utah. A quick dip into Idaho and strangely back into Wyoming (Just ticking off states left, right and centre in this badass Sunfire). We made it to the hideous Salt Lake City. The City itself was monstrous in size and looks alike. A rather quick unanimous decision not to stop here was proceeded with my individual decision to visit the salt flats. A mere 180k out of the way. Followed by a mere 180k back down the same stretch of highway, back to city we had all so abruptly despised. Pressure was on. Salt flats had to be good. I felt the tension rise in the Sunfire for the first time this trip..... simply eradicated with my promise to lick the salt. Perks of travelling solely with boys; easily amused and quickly distracted. Luckily the salt flats were well worth the detour, and actually a whole bunch of fun. A vast expanse of salt crunches underfoot and spreads way out of sight to the foot of the remote mountains. Crispy and crumbly close up but smooth and sleek into the distant. It's a place like no other. I also kept my promise much to the boys amusement. Little do they know I've yet to completely erase the pungent salty taste that now lingers in my mouth after every meal, I fear I may have damaged my tastebuds forever.

Salt Lake City then turned into the inescapable City. Probably because we were all so hasty to shun this infamous location but Ive also no doubt was helped by Vincent's wrong turn. We continued to drive late into the night, passing through towns like the top hat on a Monopoly board. We speedily reached Mount Pleasant, which was pleasant right up until we saw a gang of youths with what looked like a handgun, probably just candy but you never know. "Shall we continue to the next town?". And so we did. Tom's predictable directions of 'next right', did surprisingly steer us back onto the night road. We fortunately found an open motel soon after and were not forced to face our feared dilemma of either pitching up our tents in a field or driving continuously through the night.

Rested and refreshed we awoke. Straight back into the Sunfire we returned. It wasn't long until we reached the Red Canyon. (Which I believed to be Bryce Canyon the whole time we were there). The boys effortlessly free ran around this playground, rocks falling and tumbling aggressively underfoot as they hoped, skipped and jumped their way about these red ravines and gullies. I, however, took a less elegant approach. You could find me struggling, anxious and clinging petrified to any solid formation I could reach as I attempted to amble up the boy's chosen path. They did come and rescue me but it's never a dignified look as Ryan drags my whole being up the side of a rock while Vincent is pushing whole heartedly on my bottom. It's a good job these boys know me well.

Paige, Arizona was next on our hit list. The journey here was nothing but rash last minute decisions. Decisions that led to us turning around and stopping time and time over. Our failure to be on the ball as it were also led to Vincent winning all in car games. We shall not hear the last of this. It was during this ill-considered decision making that we took a turn to visit the 'lone rock'. Unbeknown to us it was in fact in a national park. We were unable to hide the unmistakable puzzled expressions we subsequently wore in light of the wardens next remark..... 'Be careful in the sand'. We couldn't help but laugh as we drove our Sunfire down onto the beach. It's a a holiday for us all.

Three Cowboys and Me

Unable to sleep, tossing, turning and fighting for every inch.... Vincent on my right, Ryan on my left and a shivering Thomas thrown in on the end just for good measure. A king sized bed crammed with three cowboys and me. This sleepless night marks the first of our American adventure! Travelling through the states in an inadequately sized Sunfire with a trunk full of cowboy boots and footwell full of sandwiches....... Roadtrip!

Our first day was an uneventful ride to the boarder. Uneventful only following our somewhat amateur start. Having arrived in Canmore to pick up our blondest addition we re-packed the trunk which subsequently broke it. 24K in and winning.

Surprisingly we did make it to Milk River. A final Canadian supper with an old boss was the perfect farewell. My only regret is not ordering poutine.. (a delicacy we've yet to find in the states)... que onset of withdrawal from cheese curds and gravy. I'll probably survive...Just!

Tummys full from a hearty motel breaky we headed for the boarder, a notoriously nerve-wracking experience at the best of times. We were not disappointed. After I was scrutinized with more than a dozen finger prints and eye scans (boys were already dialling me a taxi home.... cheers fellas)... I was permitted into the land of red stripes and stars.

Destination Bozeman Montana. Pitstop at an incredibly auburn Great Falls, lunch man Ryan made a gallant first effort as we munched sandwiches (What else?) alongside the great falls, which may I add, were not that great. But, alas, the fiery visual colours of autumn that this town had to offer were well worth the lunch and pee break. Our journey continued passing artistic displays of hay that we continually failed to photograph despite having just invested in a new camera. Yes, foolish enough we were to roadtrip camerless. Bozeman offered us a place to stay with Vincent's buddy Suzanne, she's at school here. So naturally we guzzled cheep beer, ate potatoes and drunkly travelled between student houses on a skateboard, two bikes and a pair of inline skates. Aimlessly speeding through Bozeman's darkened streets it's a wonder we didn't get injured. It sure didn't take us long to embrace our inner American stereotypes. Awakening the next morning with a bruised bottom (too much time spent riding on the handlebars)... we missed our Montana sunrise hike...hallelujah!.. We were hungover Albertans out of province.

Our day was instead filled with the joys of exploring Yellowstone National Park. A true beauty to behold. It's no lie we've all lived in a National Park for the past five months so are more than accustomed to it's occasionally annoying traits. Each one however has something very unique to offer and we unashamedly took on our new role as the photocrazed, car stopping tourists we once despised. Uncertain if we would encounter any of our beloved buffalo we were in fact confronted with herds of the slow moving lumps. They were placed upon a backdrop of the beautifully mountainous Montana which was also all dressed up for a date with Autumn, and looking mighty pretty. Intervals of bellowing steam clouds escape the earth with an effortless ascent. Often encompassed by colourful pools of inviting bubbling water. Although I wouldn't recommend a dip in this hot tub. Old Faith was a definite highlight, a truly magnificent geyser that erupts volcanic like several times a day. It shoots gallons of water high into the blue Monatana sky before plummeting back to the ground. It splashes the rocky surroundings leaving behind only a glimpse of a rainbow but its short appearance makes it ever more enchanting.

Our Journey continued to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. A comforting cowboy town for these country boys. A new state.... a new adventure!

'I feel like Jesus when I pee' (A drunken student of the University of Montana)